


Deep Sea

by enstars



Category: Free!
Genre: Extended Metaphors, I GUESS? Big ol.... clusterfuck..., Metaphors, Poetry, Sort...of...? kinda.? poemy? its not really a narrative its just u h, this is kinda stupid and embarrassing but also (:>
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-20 07:03:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16132118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enstars/pseuds/enstars
Summary: This sea has always weighed me down, but I’m glad I’m not alone.





	Deep Sea

It’s cold.

 

Floating alone, I get lower and lower. With each flutter of my heavy eyelids, the light flitting in past the surface of this deep blue sea gets dimmer and dimmer. I reach my hand up, but it doesn’t reach. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.

 

Has it… always been like this?

 

When I look left and right, only inky blackness greets me. My heart sinks, but how does it do that, I wonder? Hasn’t it… always…?

 

It hurts. The water wrapping around me, pulling me lower and lower is not a comforting embrace, it’s not what I need. As I slowly descend, my head clouds up— unspoken words, desires left untouched, what about me?

 

It’s freezing. My chest, my heart, my blood. It’s always been like this, hasn’t it?

 

I’m alone again. I’ve always been alone.

 

If I’m crying, the seawater carries those tears away. There’s no reason to cry. No one will see, and no one will hear. I’ve been abandoned here.

 

I curl up on myself, and let the current take me where it decides to.

 

* * *

 

 

That day, you came down too.

 

I had been spinning, sinking lower and lower in solitary. This lonesome deep-sea has become a barrier for me, hasn’t it? No one else managed to get through, so how did you…

 

You smile at me. I think it’s enough to light up the whole sea.

 

Somehow… I feel at ease.

 

Maybe I’m crying again; but you’re here to see, aren’t you?

 

Even if the tears don’t leave my eyes, that way you look at me is telling me enough. Hey, don’t look at me in that way, I…

 

I’m sorry. I’ll be good now, okay?

 

Your hand feels warm against mine, even in this cold nothingness. I breathe out a sigh, and it comes out a love-shaped bubble.

 

It’s not as cold now. Even if we’re alone in this ocean, with nothing but the dark blackness to see, I’m thankful. Is there a reason you’re here too?

 

It doesn’t matter. This sea has always weighed me down, but I’m glad I’m not alone. You’re kind, aren’t you? Even when the dim water wraps around you, even if it tries to pull you away, I can see you.

 

I wonder...

 

* * *

 

 

Are you losing yourself?

 

Things were good for a long time. We had each other, didn’t we? And down here, you only looked at me.

 

Maybe we went too close to the surface.

 

(But that’s impossible, isn’t it?)

 

I wonder what it is. You looked at me, and you said you’re okay. However, your smile isn’t glowing that way it did before. Faltering at the edges… but I won’t push.

 

And I have to believe you for now, don’t I?

 

I believe you. It’s okay. You’re not a liar, and our hands are still together. We can do this together, can’t we? Even if the current tries to pry us apart, or the shadows obscure your face more and more, you won’t go away.

 

Even if I’ve gotten used to the uneasy heaviness in my chest and heart, the sheer cold enveloping my whole body and shaking me to the bone, I still have you.

 

I still have you.

 

I still have you.

 

* * *

 

 

You told me everything.

 

I’ve built up a resistance to this deep-sea darkness, but you’re still scared, aren’t you? You’re not used to…

 

I’m sorry. I don’t want to get upset at you.

 

You’re a good friend, you know? Come, closer to me and we can be warm together. I’ll be right here for you. You feel so cold, but I’ll make it better.

 

I promise. I won’t let you get hurt, okay? And in this darkness, we can hide. From the scary things, we can hide together.

 

Hey, please…

 

I don’t like it when you’re sad.

 

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I’m right here.

 

I haven’t heard any sounds past bubbling in a long, long time, but…

 

Those sobs were not from the sea, were they?

 

* * *

 

 

We continued like that for a long, long time.

 

I’ve gotten bigger, so have you. But still, we travel together, hands linked and never apart. Even if I’m alone, even if you’re alone, we’re alone with each other. I know it’s hard for you, but you’ll be okay. With me.

 

We can stay like this forever. Doesn’t that sound nice?

 

* * *

 

 

Maybe not to you.

 

One day, you collapsed.

 

I’m so stupid. Why didn’t I realize? The sea water washes away all of our tears, doesn’t it? Even yours. All this time, you…

 

I’m really a useless friend, aren’t I?

 

I don’t know what to do.

 

I’m floating alone again, even though you’re right with me. Holding your limp body close to my chest, I let myself cry. And once again, no one will hear or see me.

 

Am I allowed to complain? After all that time we spent together, I never noticed how much you were suffering, either.

 

I thought I would never get the power, or the drive to do this. After all, I’m a coward, aren’t I? Guilt weighs heavy in my chest, but I don’t matter now. Only you.

 

Only you.

 

I hold you closer, and start to kick my legs.

 

How long have we been sinking for? It doesn’t matter. Whether it was 10 weeks or 10 years, I have to do this for you. After all, you were the one… who smiled at me, right? And you’re the one who’s closest to my heart.

 

I love you, so I’ll save you too.

 

* * *

 

 

It gets lighter and lighter, and I want to be sick. When we approach the surface, I can hardly handle it. But it’s okay, I will do this for you. You can be safe now.

 

And I know you’ll surely come back to save me again, too.

 

I can hardly bear it. Pushing you up, I propel myself down— and let myself begin to sink, sink again.

 

My heart’s sinking in my chest, too. Light envelops you, you’re vanishing too quickly, but I’ll…

 

It’s okay. I’m placing my faith in you.

 

* * *

 

 

Is this what I really want?

 

It’s cold.

 

I’m being pulled down.

 

It’s cold.

 

I’m being strangled, choked, and—

 

It’s cold.

 

Worst of all,

 

You didn’t come back, not even casting a glance my way, I

 

Alone, sinking deeper, soon I will be forgotten. But perhaps, that’s the best treatment for me, after all.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> uH Hi <:)   
> if it wasnt clear enough This Is.. i guess a metaphor for hiyoris life/relationship with ikuya up until ikuya nd haru reunited... sad times dude.. Sad times...
> 
> heh, uh.. im gay... also this is stupid.. please dont say bad things about this im sensitive... thank you


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